My days have become binary.
Either I have the energy to fill the day or
look down the gaping hole and drag everything down.
It has become an overstretch. The all is well campaign is exhausting.
Just day by day, weekend to weekend without significance.
Each day that I'm down, I let it be. Let it pass. Now I have a collection of days spent and gone but nothing to recall for. Just the general mood of the days, sounds I heard, nothing significant. This sense of loss is drilling into me.
There is no more fight. Fight against what though? At both ends its me. One day the eluding comfort of being satisfied, happy and just at ease. The next the painful gloom of nothingness in a day. I could fill it. I know I could make it better. But the constant pursuit is tiring. Don't know where the energy went. Don't know where the inner fight is. Slowly I'm getting used to the pointlessness. But I will make it better and I will love the day. I will get out of this and find a heart to cheer.
Either I have the energy to fill the day or
look down the gaping hole and drag everything down.
It has become an overstretch. The all is well campaign is exhausting.
Just day by day, weekend to weekend without significance.
Each day that I'm down, I let it be. Let it pass. Now I have a collection of days spent and gone but nothing to recall for. Just the general mood of the days, sounds I heard, nothing significant. This sense of loss is drilling into me.
There is no more fight. Fight against what though? At both ends its me. One day the eluding comfort of being satisfied, happy and just at ease. The next the painful gloom of nothingness in a day. I could fill it. I know I could make it better. But the constant pursuit is tiring. Don't know where the energy went. Don't know where the inner fight is. Slowly I'm getting used to the pointlessness. But I will make it better and I will love the day. I will get out of this and find a heart to cheer.
