Drafts from the past and the Last one

Half framed thoughts and half drafted posts
a way to get things off my mind

Search for ease
I vented
I calmed
I cried
and I breathed.

But this place is too drab for me now.
Its too sombre and sad.

I needed this. I needed the space
I needed the down to feel it all.

But today is not the day that will put me down.
So this is the last from the 'First'.

5.08.2013

To be heard and to be seen seems to be the aim of life. The only variation may be, is 'in whose eyes do u want to be seen' and 'who is the one that should hear you'. It is only the person that varies and so shall vary your work, your routine.. your intentions, your actions.

Of all the changing people there could be someone you want to change, someone you want to inspire or someone you want to impress. But maybe at the end of the day, the best person that should hear you is yourself. If you are able to be seen and heard by yourself then maybe it is pleasant enough!.. Like someone said, "Blessed are those who find happiness in their own company".. How true.. and what a dream..!!

:)

You still take my breath away
You still make me smile.
You still make me wonder if we weren't made forever.

One

I haven't figured it out yet.

Sometimes everything is too loud, and i prefer the calm. If not forever, at least for a while.

I understand that people hurt; if not now then eventually.

I don't understand the too happy me; i prefer the rare calm me.

I wonder if you would ever find a person to have your back. at least one person who doesn't talk behind your back

If all I wanted was a person who would have my back no matter what, I don't think it would come true. I don't think it is possible to trust people to not hurt you and if you do trust them probably that would hit you the hardest.

When I am crazy and happy and still so calm,
I secretly know its only with you.

When I am scared and tired and just like a clam,
You don't say a word but I still feel safe,
and its only with you.

I never told you my dreams, my fancies and wishes
but you make me believe, I'd have all of them just in a glimpse
and its only with you.

I won't say a word, for I could ruin it all.
Still I do know its only with you.

Almost the year end!

It's almost the end of the year.
The long weekend looms and everyone is home bound or holiday bound. I appreciate the smaller picture. Office is empty and so are the roads. Should make for an easy ride back.
Slowly with the time laid out I think, wow I could really make it a holiday. I should get "everything" done and then just sit back by the window and read the half read books. For three days or a week continuously, nothing less nothing more. Then a new year starts and I need to find inspiration for my resolutions. I can't keep pushing myself everyday to change; at some point I have to accept my best version and be happy with it. But I also want to be better. I think I can do better. Big thoughts small thoughts and the little thoughts. Weird how new years and birthdays can have that effect on you. At least, they do on me.

How did you spend your time? How did you invest yourself?
Where have you put your heart and where did you put your effort?

If you looked at the stars and enjoyed the wind, did it make you breathe easy?
If you walked through the roads and through the yellow leaves, did you find peace?

If you read through a book and lived it a day
If you have spent it in love, did it stay forever?

Did you read a book or spend it in love?

When was the first time you felt the weight of hate?
Does that day still tremble beneath your bones?
Why are you angry then, if you haven't found hate?

I turn around, push these pillows and make myself comfortable
I screw my eyes to stop the thoughts and the light from the other room
I try and breathe in tell myself I should sleep


I will tell you what your bring out in me.
When I think about you and the almost forgotten time we had together, I wonder if you ever thought about it just like I am thinking now. I wonder if you smile at the random memories and twist at the painful recalls.

Please let me drive you away.

I will keep in touch, I will say too much. I will cry over you and choke you for breath. So please let me drive you away.

It will do you no good to keep it this way. I will not tell you how and I will not tell you why but you should just let me drive you away.

And like never before i realize there is much more than being peaceful and being calm.
I'm happy with you and content.
I live without a care in the world and as if no bad memory can touch me.

Winter blues

Its not even cold and its not good weather
But when the yellow green leaves move with the wind and make those rustling sounds
It might not be a breeze it might not be clouds
But when the sun comes out of the clouds it feels a lot fresher.

4

Melt down after melt down
and a deep breath somehow should fix it all

The sweats and the pains
should all somehow seize that's all

Empty inside and churning out
I wish i could hold it and stop. That's all

Best of articles -

http://www.telegraphindia.com/1140407/jsp/nation/story_18163764.jsp

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfvKavnciEM

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_scandals_in_India

...

Its happy now and simpler too.
What I can, I will give to you.

Nothing to hide and nothing to hold
Nothing to judge in this simple world

2

I realize its time to stop the somber
and to touch on the carefree side
The side which can smile without reason
and dance without rhythm
The side which sings a song loud
and forgets all the words.
The side of love and laughter

1

Its more than the passionate love and the flutters in heart.
Its more than the tensed smile from seeing you after a long time.
Its more than the hug and the kiss.